The gym in which I waste time after wearing a tie all day has a weight room on the second floor with a balcony overlooking the entryway cafe. Today while men in wife beaters posed like Jesus distributing fish over bench-pressing yoga pants, a mockingbird flew in from downstairs and became trapped, tapping high at floor-to-ceiling windows, bashing its head against the sunroof, railing and railing against the glass then landing to gather itself on light fixtures and girders before setting off again in desperation. I was in there for an hour mostly trying to figure out how I could get out of wearing a tie every day until I die, and the bird was still trapped when I left. Stupid little thing. If only it had flown down a level instead of constantly trying to go up, it might have saved itself.